Description
by LadyPalma
Summary: Peaceful, asssertive and lovely: this is how Dickie describes Isobel during a talk with Violet. Richard doesn't agree and has a description of his own - less nice but maybe more accurate.


**Description**

It was something very little and she shouldn't have probably cared much in the first place, but yet Isobel couldn't stop thinking about it. Over a tea at Dowager House, Dickie had praised her defining her "the most peaceful, lovely and assertive lady in the world", to which Violet had replied with a incredulous chuckle and the question "are we really talking about the very same Mrs Crawley?". It was meant to be a joke - or at least so she hoped –, but truth was that now she agreed with that objection more than she was probably expected to.

She herself knew that she wasn't peaceful and certainly nor assertive and, even if by definition people in love tend to see things in a different light, she couldn't help but ask herself if Dickie loved her for the right reason, after all. She wanted to be loved for who she was and she certainly wasn't a lady willing to live the rest of her life in the quiet peace of a huge living room. Heavens, she had runaway in France in the midst of a war and even hired a former prostitute as maid! She wondered what would Dickie do if she told him that or, even, if she did something similar now.

She was having doubts – about herself, about Dickie, about the engagement.

She was having doubts and she only had Violet to blame – or _thank_ – for.

* * *

"Mrs Crawley, what's wrong? You are _unusually_ quiet…"

Not chuckling at that question proved to be actually impossible. She slowly placed down the cup of tea she had in her hands and slowly looked up to find the predictably confused face of Doctor Clarkson. It was just another sentence she should have given less weight to, but with that casual comment he made unawarily her doubts increase. It gave her the impression that he actually knew her.

"I am fine" she replied eventually, with an absent-minded smile. However, right because he knew her, he was guessing that she wasn't fine at all and so, under the silent pressure of his still questioning look, she soon rectified her words. "Actually, I do have a question. How- how would you describe me?"

The doctor didn't hide his first surprise, staring at her with widened eyes for some seconds. "Why this question?" he asked then, in a mixture of curiosity and attempt to avoid the potentially dangerous answer.

She looked down for a moment, uncertain if bring the matter further or let it drop right there. But yet, again, it wasn't like her to back down so easily. "Lord Merton defined me peaceful, lovely and assertive. Somehow, I can't relate to the description though" she confessed, shrugging slightly as trying to pretend nonchalance.

Surpisingly, he let out an incredulous chuckle – Violet's same reaction."Of course you can't relate to it!"

"What is that supposed to mean?" she inquired immediately, raising an eyebrow.

It was his turn to shrug, as he pursed his lips in hesitation. He knew from her stare on him, that he wouldn't have get away with that easily and that she wouldn't have let go of the matter without having a satisfying answer. He got himself stuck into a difficult situation and the only way he could get out of it was to speak, even if there was a certain danger in doing so.

"Just that peaceful is not exactly how I would describe you…" he answered eventually, trying to be casual, but not helping however the trace of irony in his voice – which she didn't fail to notice of course.

"Now you got me genuinely interested, Doctor. How is that you would describe me, then? Please, do tell me"

He fought hard not to roll his eyes at her insistence. Now that he thought about it, he hated when she acted like this: teasing him, basically holding all the cards and putting him on the spot. But it was that slight annoyance what gave him the actual courage to finally speak bluntly without reservations.

"Alright… You are anything but peaceful, really, you never give up without a fight and honestly, I think you quite like to be the one to start fights. You like to think you are so open-minded but you don't realize that at the same time you want everyone to see things as you do. You are the less egoist person I know, of course, but you are terribly egocentric. Sometimes you are too stubborn, sometimes you speak too much and sometimes… Oh, sometimes, you are so terribly annoying, _Isobel_. However, I have nothing to say on the lovely part."

She stared wide eyed at him, not actually expecting such an eloquence from a reserved man like he was. She didn't know wheter to laugh of it or actually feel hurt, but certainly in that moment she was baffled and most of all, like few other times in her whole life, completely speechless.

"I – I asked you to describe me, not to insult me, Doctor" she managed to point out eventually, letting her hurt pride be shown.

Surprisingly, he merely smiled. "But I have described you. Of course I omitted to say that you are also strong and passionate and caring and… Beautiful. But I am sure your beloved fiancè already tells you that a lot" he replied, with a hint of teasing in the last part, but soon returning serious though. "The point is that, in my humble opinion, you should be with a man who truly sees you for what you are, a man who knows your flaws and is capable of loving them"

Her astonishment only grew at those words, but somehow it was another the feeling that prevailed now. A sort of embarassment, as she looked down in a vain attempt to hide the childish slight blush on her cheeks.

"From the unkind way you have described me, it would take a rather exceptional man to do that. I doubt that I would ever find such a man"

He looked at her for a single moment, then looked down quickly too. "Maybe there is already a man like that in your life… Maybe closer than you think" he spoke quietly, trying to be as casual as possible, even if the nervous trace in his voice betrayed him a little.

They looked up again in the same moment and their eyes unavoidably met, finding an intimate understanding that would have been denied by actual words or actions.

In fact, he wasn't brave enough to say more and she wasn't forward enough to ask. It could have been enough for then though and they were both certain that there would have been other occasions to explore the matter further. One particular things was for sure at least, after all.

"And that man is not Lord Merton?"

"No, it definetly isn't him"

* * *

 **Because I believe that Richard should have said something - maybe not even something nice at all. My intention with this short fanfic was not to be hard on Merton; I just still think that the other Richard was the one who truly saw her for what she was - the good and the bad. I hope you liked it and that you will let me know what you think about this:)**


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